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Before the rain came, Clyde drove to the
bridge and fished. He cast three lines and leaned the poles up against
the concrete railing and sat on the back of his tailgate, watching the
lines and reading the graffiti and listening to the cows in the pasture
nearby.
It had been raining almost every day, and
each afternoon he’d come home with buckets full of catfish that he would
clean and cut into filets and drop into gallon-sized plastic bags that
he would store in the freezer in the kitchen. It got to where his
freezer would hardly close it was so packed with fish.
On Sundays—after working all night at the
furniture plant where he swept floors and emptied trashcans—Clyde fished
all morning and slept all afternoon. He woke up in the evening and drank
a beer and heated a couple of inches of oil in
a big pan and he fried catfish and hush puppies and French fries. He and
his daughter, Becca, ate and watched the rain fall in big drops and pool
in the yard in puddles that rose and rose.
Becca was always on her phone unless she hit
her data limit, and then she would sulk around the house or read a
magazine and breathe out the loudest, boredest sigh anyone had ever
heard. She was thirteen.
“I’ve got to get out of this house,” she
said, lying sideways across the chair.
“Unless you got a boat,” Clyde said, “you
ain’t going nowhere. The water’s up over the road. Almost up to the
mailbox. Even if you’re a piece of mail you’re not going nowhere.”
“Ugh,” she said. “This is so stupid.”
His daughter was starting to become a mystery
to him. Every month, she changed into a different being: new clothes
that he hadn’t bought, shinier, smaller. She spent untold hours poking
her lips out at her phone and taking pictures of herself, only to edit
the picture so much that the picture looked like a stranger. He loved
her, and the way he tried to express his love was by trying not to
control her. By leaving her alone.
Outside, the wind began to bend the limbs of
the tall trees, sweeping leaves and dust in clouds across the ground.
The power flickered and went out. Clyde put on his raincoat and stepped
out into the storm and got a small generator from the shed. He dragged
the generator inside and started it with a little
trouble and plugged the freezer and refrigerator in.
“Can’t I plug in my phone?” Becca said.
“You can’t eat your phone,” he said as the
trailer swayed in the heavy wind. Keeping the freezer going meant he
would always have food, and always having food meant that, no matter
what, he would never be wholly subject to another man. Nothing could
touch him. “Here.” He took his phone and propped it against a half-empty
beer can on the coffee table. “We can watch the news if you want.”
“No one watches the news,” she said.
On his small screen, a meteorologist stood in
his suit and his suspenders and pointed at a green mass as it swept
across the area. Yellow circles swarmed and swirled around notches of
the storm where wind speeds and cones stretched out among cartoon-like
lightning bolts.
Clyde fell asleep watching. He woke at noon
the next day and plugged the coffee maker into the generator and as the
coffee dripped he looked out the window above the kitchen sink where,
outside, the water had risen. The whole road was flooded. The pasture
across the road, too. Cows stood huddled on a small hill.
“Becca,” he said, thinking to wake her up to
show her the cows. She always got a kick out of the cows. “Becca,” he
said again, but she wasn’t on the couch.
Her phone was sitting on the table.
He walked down the small, dark hallway and
pushed open her cracked door. “Hey, Becca,” he said.
“Check out them cows.”
But she wasn’t in her bed. He opened the
curtains and gray light spilled in. The bed was empty.
The bathroom was empty, too.
He looked back out the window above the
kitchen sink. His truck was there. She hadn’t stolen it. Water was over
halfway up the tires.
He drank coffee with the windows open until
the coffee was gone, and then he made another pot. By afternoon, the sun
came out, and all Clyde could hear was the stillness of the wind
rippling across the water. His heart thumped as he tried to imagine
Becca swimming away. Where would she go? Where was there to go?
There, in the quiet, Clyde felt the roaring,
gurgling flood of his insides. It was always there—something to be
embarrassed about, like walking around with a bone protruding out of an
arm or a hook sticking out of his mouth—and if he sat around too long
without casting a line or running his floor sweeper, it would feel as if
the current of rage and disappointment would consume not just him but
his house and his life and all the known world.
To distract himself, he considered that Becca
had been abducted by aliens. He had to admit that it was possible. And
maybe as a way to distance himself from the dark images that popped up
in his mind when he thought about where she might be, maybe as a way to
deal with solitude, he did what he trained himself to do to keep the
dark whirlpool from eating him whole: he constructed fantasies.
First, if she were to be abducted by aliens,
he would be upset, worried about Becca’s safety. Was she terrified? Did
the aliens administer something to her that made her freeze, emotionally
and physically, and did the inability to feel pain or express terror
somehow amplify the pain and terror by silencing their ability to be
expressed? And after that had passed—the worry for her—what was he to do
with the jealousy that aliens had chosen to take her and not him?
And, further, why was it that some beings
abduct and some beings possess? And how often did beings get both
abducted and possessed? Like for instance Clyde’s spirit: maybe his
spirit was abducted and in its place the turning whirlpool of anger and
rage had possessed him? But wasn’t the whole point of possession to
whisper directives?
Not one directive had ever been whispered to
Clyde. No direction, no order. No alien whispers or tracking devices.
Only the swirling and the skin.
His phone rang. His manager, Mark, was
calling.
“Yeah,” Clyde said.
“Clyde?” Mark said as if anyone else had ever
answered Clyde’s phone but Clyde.
“Yeah.”
“You staying dry?”
Clyde looked at the window at the water.
“Mostly.”
“Look, man. You been by the factory today?”
“There’s water up over my tires. There’s no
going nowhere.”
“The factory’s flooded. All this rain, man.
It’s everywhere.”
“You need me to come clean it.”
“I mean it’s flooded flooded. The machines,
man. We haven’t gotten a damage assessment but the whole damn place is
wet. Like wet wet.”
“Oh. Wow.”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ll know more I guess once
the water recedes and all that. But there ain’t no making furniture in a
flooded factory. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
“We’re not gonna be working for a while, I
guess is what I’m trying to say. I’m not sure if it’s ever going to open
back up. You get what I’m saying?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
“No, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, bud. You okay?”
He looked out at the water again. It was just
sitting there. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you fine?”
Mark laughed. “Don’t you worry about me,
buddy. Look, I’ll holler at you later once we get more news. I’ve got a
bunch more phone calls to make.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“You go down to the bridge yesterday
morning?”
“Yeah.”
“You catch anything?”
“I caught some, yeah. I’m running out of room
in my freezer.”
Mark laughed again. “That a boy. Let me make
these calls. I’ll holler at you later.”
“Okay.”
He hung up the phone and imagined the factory
under water. How strange it must look, how beautiful.
Two contradictory emotions began to swirl in
him. The first was freedom. Clyde was pretty sure that he didn’t have a
job anymore. He liked having a job, liked having something to do, liked
having a paycheck coming in, but he didn’t like the hierarchy of having
someone over him. And now, without a job, he was without a hierarchy.
That felt like freedom.
The second was dread. He needed money. Maybe
he didn’t need gas, because nowhere was really worth going to. Beer was
nice but he had done without it before. He could catch his own food from
the creek. He heard the generator whirring. He needed money to keep the
freezer running. He needed money to keep Becca’s phone on. That was
important to her.
He picked up her dead phone and found a
charger and plugged the phone and charger into the generator. He wished
she were here. For some reason, he had the urge to take her to the
factory so they could see what it looked like with all that water
inside.
As her phone juiced, a hundred notifications
flashed across the cracked screen. Messages, social media
likes. He couldn’t read any of them, not unless he entered her password.
He didn’t know her password. It was important
to him that he didn’t know her password. He could probably guess it, but
that felt to him like a betrayal of trust.
God, the notifications kept coming in. They
didn’t stop. They scrolled and scrolled. Name after name whisked by. And
in each name, 69 and 420. 69. 420.
He imagined a great cloud of smoke being
inhaled and exhaled, from one person’s body into another’s, the
breathing in and out.
No, he wouldn’t guess her password.
He set the phone down to rumble on top of the
generator. At some point, he said to himself, that generator’s going to
run out of gas.
He should call Leah, Becca’s mom. Maybe Leah
came by in the storm and picked Becca up. Maybe they were all sitting
together eating pancakes.
He picked up his phone and the thought
occurred to him: just because the furniture factory closed didn’t mean
the building would close. Maybe another business would move in; maybe
another business would be looking to keep somebody on who knew the
building. Somebody like him. Maybe the other business wouldn’t give him
a boss. They would just leave him alone and tell him to clean. It’d be
the type of place that needed to be really clean. Scientists would work there. Partitions and doors would be
installed on the factory floor. All of the doors would have electronic
locks, and he’d have a keycard that opened each one.
There, Clyde would clean and pick up bits of
information as he did. Inside the new factory, there would be one room,
right in the center, and in that room would be a giant computer.
Different colored lights would flash on its interface. One scientist
would be in charge of that room, and that scientist would be the head
scientist. He would have a pointy beard that he would constantly tug on.
He would be frustrated because the computer wasn’t doing what the
scientist wanted it to do.
Clyde would go into the room where the
computer and the scientist were, and the scientist would be sitting
against the far wall in the dark, staring at all the blinking lights.
Clyde would squat down and pick up the trashcan that was filled with
vending machine food wrappers and energy drinks and dump the small
trashcan into the big rolling trashcan he dragged with him.
“I just want it to talk,” the scientist would
say to him. “Why won’t it speak to me?”
Clyde would smile and say, “Maybe it don’t
got much to say.”
Wanting to say, maybe it’s afraid because it
has too much inside it, maybe like all the world with all its history
and all its feelings is swirling in there. Like his daughter’s phone:
buzzing, constantly.
He was worried for her. He picked up the
phone and tried to guess the password. He tried her birthday first,
0918. Then he tried 1234.
Surely not, he thought, and then tried 6969,
glad that the screen didn’t open.
0420. No.
1111.
The screen locked itself for five minutes.
Fuck it, he thought, and he called Leah,
Becca’s mom.
She answered on the fourth ring. He had woken
her up.
“Long night?” he asked.
“Kind of,” she said. “Rodney’s band was
playing at the Blue Canoe.” Rodney was her new boyfriend. He played
drums in a country metal band called The Grazers. He had long black hair
and played with black lipstick and these long black drumsticks that
seemed to Clyde—but only to Clyde for some reason—like he was trying too
damn hard. “They were so fucking good. They were so fucking loud and
everybody there was just out of their bodies and minds the whole damn
time.” This, he could tell, was not meant for him. She was staring at
Rodney while she said it, he knew. “What do you want?”
He swallowed. “Nothing. Is it flooding near
you?”
“You called me to ask if it’s flooding.”
“I was just wondering about the flooding. It
wasn’t the reason.”
“I ain’t opened the blinds yet.”
He heard another voice next to her. Rodney’s
voice. Them sleeping in the same bed used to drive him crazy. Now, he
didn’t care.
A person could get used to pretty much
anything, he supposed.
“All right,” he said. “You don’t got to open
them. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”
“How’s Becca doing?” she said.
“Good,” he lied. Her phone was lighting up.
“She’s doing good. On her phone like always.”
“Let me talk to her.”
He froze. “Becca,” he called. “Hey Becca.” He
held the phone against his chest. “She’s in the bathroom,” he said.
“I’ll tell her to call you when she gets out.”
She paused. “Alright,” she said.
“Alright,” he said. “I’ll let you get back to
sleep.” He hung up.
He heard the silence of the water lapping
against the trees. It was still, as if a great energy was waiting below
to snatch down what floated by.
It was too quiet. The generator, he realized,
had cut off. All he heard was the flies buzzing and tapping against his
freezer. He opened the gas tank and peered inside, cutting the
flashlight of his phone on to see down the tank. The gas tank was dry.
He didn’t know how long until the freezer
would unfreeze.
He could suck out the gas from the tank in
his truck, but then he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere once the water
went away.
He might need to go somewhere. Like to work.
Big, secret science companies would probably move pretty fast. Hell,
they might even be at the factory now, figuring out how to get all of
the furniture
and scrap wood out. Tearing the roof off with
silent black helicopters, sucking out the water with vacuum tubes,
lowering the computer in with straps. They would need him soon. Shit
piled up fast.
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