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Louis Phillips

Synopsis:

        Did you know that an Eskimo star nicknamed "The Walrus" played semi-pro, along with his village of Eskimos? Did you know that Paul Bunyan was brought in as a pitcher and nearly changed the entire game? A grab bag of the poignant and riotous, this collection is a must for baseball fans who want to read some literature-and for literati who want to read some baseball, too.

ISBN 0-942979-36-2, quality paper, $11.95       Sale $6.00

ISBN 0-942979-35-4, hardbound, $19.95           Sale $10.00

About the Author: 

Louis Phillips is a member of The Society of American Magicians. Need we say more?

 Excerpt from the Book:

The Day the Walrus Hit .400

    Back in the 1930ís and 40ís, when the Charlotte Whips were top dog in the Carolina Triple A League, we had a player on our roster called ďThe Professor.Ē Barrett Conley was his real name, but I never heard nobody ever call him that because a kid named Barrett has already got two strikes against him in life and thatís what I think. We called him ďThe ProfessorĒ because he was the only one of the Whips who had ever seen the inside of a college and recognized it for what it was. I mean he was reading all the time, not comic books either, but real heavy stuff like novels, books that didnít even have no pictures in them. I tried stuff like that once or twice myself, but I donít see the sense in it, life being what it is. One picture is worth ten thousand words. Thatís what Abe Lincoln said. Or Ted Williams. One of those guys. And whoís going to argue with them?


    Anyway Conley hung up his spikes with a .294 lifetime batting average and with a trunk full of stolen bases, and so there he was looking around for something to do, because even with all that education he didnít know nothing about working, so he goes to Spike Kellings, who was the manager of that Cinderella team, the í41 Whips, and Spike suggests that The Professor handle the Public Relations side of things. The Professor thinks that over for a while and he says OK, and so Spike puts in a word with the management, and so thatís how it happened that Conley became the Public Relations man for the 1946 Charlotte Whips. It made sense to us because Conley was always studying How To Win Friends and Influence People. He studied that book real good like some folks study the Bible because he always had a lot of friends hanging around him, asking him for tickets to the game or going out with him for drinks. He loaned the book to me once, but it didnít do me all that good, because Iím not really into reading, and I am really not into Public Relations. The way I look at it, people either like me or they donít, and if they donít, they can just lump it.


    During the war years, the Charlotte Whips, like most sports teams, had a pretty rough time because there really werenít enough good players to go around. Anyone who could walk was called off to War, and the rest of us walking wounded had a difficult time getting hopped up about a ball game when we were thinking about old Adolf getting his. There were even a couple of years in there when the League had to close down all together, and if you donít think that made some of the owners hopping mad then you donít know a thing about owners. All the ones that I came in contact with would just as soon trade the silver out of your teeth as would look at you.

 

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